Expectations

Main Entry: ex·pect

Pronunciation:

\ik-ˈspekt\

Function:

verb

Etymology:

Latin exspectare to look forward to, from ex- + spectare to look at, frequentative of specere to look

Date:

1560

Expectations.. they can be good things, motivating you towards a goal or giving you something to look forward to:

In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.
- Psalm 5:3

or if they are too high or are unmet they can strangle you, or at least me...

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
- Proverbs 13:12a

I think the key is understanding WHO you are expecting something of, and WHAT are you expecting.. is the person someone who cares about you? are they trustworthy? I have to keep in mind that even my best friends or closest family members can "fail" to deliver an expectation - because we're human... even with the best of intentions we hurt each other - we don't mean to, but there are limits to our abilities to fully understand one another and fulfill one another's needs/expectations. I think God designed it that way, so that we wouldn't rely on other people but on Him who is perfect, whose love for us is steadfast and who never fails. The "what" part of expectations can "get" you too - remember the telephone game you used to play as a kid? - one person whispers a phrase to another and at the end of the line the phrase is completely different - that happens with just 2 people - or even with me and God!! I can be sure that God has promised "X" to me - but His definition of X is different than mine - I mean, look at how He sees time:

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends:
With the Lord a day is like a thousand years,
and a thousand years are like a day.
- 2 Peter 3:8

So it's completely normal and natural that we'd have these blunders.. as a wise person said it's not about what happens to you, it's how you react to what's happened.. the whole "if life hands you lemons, make lemonade" argument.. and it's got some merit..

In the past 2 days I have been on both sides of failed expectations and neither feels good.. I hate knowing I hurt/let someone down, and I hate feeling deflated and pouty when something doesn't go my way. Wednesday when I learned I had hurt a dear friend I just wanted to go talk to her, to make it better.. but she's not ready yet.. and then yesterday another dear one told me something that hurt/disappointed me and I am having a hard time "getting over it".. I'm trying to reconfigure things in my mind, to focus on what's important -to keep the person and the relationship first and let the things/expectations go - but it's excruciatingly difficult - this mind of ours - it's a battlefield...

So my new tactic is to hold onto things loosely.. to keep my hands open - so that God is free to place something into my hands or take things out, as He wills.. if I'm holding onto something too tightly then when He tries to take something out it hurts - my fingers get crunched.. plus, more can fit into hands that are open versus clenched...so if I'd just keep my hands open, then I am free to receive His blessings.. and His are the best kind of blessings anyway..

Here's a poem I found with the open hands picture that I Googled - I don't know who authored it, but it's good!

I approach life with open hands.
I am ready for whatever may be placed into them.
I can not grasp or hold the things that are placed there.
I will not expect precious things to remain in my hands.
I will be grateful while these things are in my care.
I will not miss the pieces of life that never find their way into my hands.
I will allow even the things I have longed, wished and hoped for to leave my hands.
I will let go of expectation.
More can fit into my open hand than my clenched fist.

so here's to open hands...

and no expectations....

Every good and perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights,
who does not change like shifting shadows.
- James 1:17